This has been my first visit since June 2019, before Mum’s cancer returned and finally overcame her. I have not experienced grief and sadness like this even at her death last March, and since the ending of my marriage.
The house has had 2 short visits last year, and now this September, but everything is more or less as she left it, down to the beach equipment, the crockery she assembled, her larder cupboard, the bathrooms she had done and equipped for everyone to use and so it goes on with every room. Mum you’re so missing from your special place, your achievements here, the home from home you created, just you, so far away in this beautiful part of France.
It is day two now, and despite trying to get the endorphins going with an online exercise session!, the sadness is continuing at the moment. I think I will stay here though as planned for the next 3-4 days to live with the grief, because in a way I feel it’s overdue and it is revealing, I feel, all that she meant to me subconsciously. It remains to be seen whether I will able to take joy from this place again like she would no doubt want.
The story of her ownership of this house began after she had unexpectedly lost her husband, George, was concerned about her savings as the values fell significantly at a point in 2002, and an old friend who lived in this village happened to be selling the property, Laborie, within Mum’s available funds.
Against all our (I and siblings) advice, she had made her decision and purchase it she did. There followed many years of journeys out here at the age of 62, on her own, first with Ryannair from Blackpool or Liverpool to Nimes, then Nimes airport to Nimes train station, then a train to Ales, then the local train to St Ambroix, then a taxi or perhaps pick up from her friend for the last 7km journey upto Courry. Bringing stuff out like bedding/towels in her suitcase. Ryannair stopped flying from up north to Nimes, so she flew from Luton, the train line from Ales to St Ambroix was replaced by a bus, she eventually bought her friend’s little car and parked it at Nimes airport, where each time she arrived, she had to get the car park attendants to jump lead it!
Over time she removed all the wallpaper and replaced it with white paint, she installed 3 bathrooms, via her commissioning of the local French trades of course – imagine that with ‘O’ level French – one of them replacing the little room housing an internal septic tank when mains drainage came to town. For a few years it seemed like every time you arrived, you never knew if there would be a leak from the old macerator toilet or its piping, or the original salle d’eau upstairs. That does raise a smile.
It’s as if this house embodies so many of her attributes – she was indefatiguable, determined, capable, undeterred, positive, strong, and then welcoming, hospitable, wanting us all to share in it all with her. And for the last 10 years she was able to share it with her partner Jack, who engaged with it lock, stock and barrel, and she loved and was proud of it even more. See photos of the inside at post from 2 years ago: https://lifeinnewlanes.com/french-durrells-house-via-brief-stop-at-montpellier/
My family had lovely times here with her and their messages from one particular stay – got to be approx 12 years ago – Mum had put on the wall in the living room:
Oh Jackie I’m sorry the grief has hit you so hard and unexpectedly. It is early days. It must have been hard to suddenly step back into your Mum’s life and a house that was so much of her own creation and so much “ her”.
Have you thought about how funny it is that you are planning to do the same thing as your Mum and at almost the exact same age ? It’s funny how these things happen. She blazed the trail for you.
Love Jenni
Xx
Hi Jenni. Yes, the thought had hit me that I am potentially following in her footsteps, and at a similar age, which is also a reassuring thing. It’s not only the house, but also the whole area which speaks so much to me of her. As if it’s her chapter and at the moment it couldn’t be mine.
But, I’ll cycle down to market day in Saint Ambroix tomorrow morning, and will finally visit Les Grottes Cocalieres this time which are only 2kms from here X
Your tribute to Judith brought a tear to my eye Jackie.
I know my grief comes perhaps from a different direction
to yours but it’s still strongly there.
She was as you said such an indefatigable, capable and
determined woman, and should have been appreciated
more when she was here, but her house and the memories are.
Jack xx
Your post brought a tear to my eye Jackie.
I share your grief as you know and though
mine is possibly coming from a different
direction it is still there, coming very strongly
at the house as you probably know.
She was as you said such a strong indefaticable
woman and the house is testament to that.
I can still picture her (before my time of course)
in the early days dragging her big soft wheelie
bag full of stuff for the house through various
airport concourses before making her way eventually to Courry.